Parenthood is a wonderful calling but it is not always easy. Children constantly need nursing, care, understanding and most of all a sense that their parents are emotionally in touch with them - that they can feel them. Children awake a number of strong feelings in parents that might not manifest otherwise.
The hectic pace of modern life often makes it difficult to physically and mentally cope with daily life: to spend time with children, manage schedules, develop a career, run the home, perhaps take care of infirm parents and in addition find the time for oneself and the relationship. Life can become very stressful, with little room for closeness, conversation and emotions. Being preoccupied with one’s own distress, one is unable to see, hear or consider the distress of others. But the only way to get in touch with a child’s needs is to stop, search ourselves and try to imagine what we would have felt as children.
The basic purpose of family therapy is to help parents relax in the therapist’s presence and get in touch with their needs and desires. Only then can they feel their children’s distress and re-establish an emotional connection with them. Often, feelings from the primary family need to be examined to understand the root cause of the anger, fear, distress and helplessness that the children are bringing out.
The word family can be interpreted as an acronym standing for “father and mother I love you”. We should know that children love their parents immensely regardless of what they are like. They would do anything for their love, sometimes even humiliate or deny themselves to save the ideal image of their parents. Without parents, children cannot survive. It is the parents’ responsibility to recognize their children’s distress in certain types of behaviour and help them.
If the parents are not able to do this, an expert can help.